Redline Lover: Take Me, Lover, Book 1 Read online

  On an impulse, she decided to take a look at his garage with a stranger’s eyes to see what might be right in front of her that she wasn’t seeing. She’d almost reached it when she saw Adam pull out, driving as if the green flag had just dropped.

  He didn’t see her.

  Instinct told her she’d just seen something important. All she needed to do was put all the pieces together until the picture made sense.

  It was a very late night.

  Chapter Eight

  “I’ve been thinking,” Anne said the next morning. “Maybe family patterns are just self-fulfilling prophecies.”

  “What?” Maggie focused bleary eyes on her sister and tried to blink away the cobwebs.

  “Self-fulfilling prophecies,” Anne repeated in the very patient tone people used with idiots. Which Maggie probably deserved. She was an idiot. Everything about her behavior with Adam proved it.

  “Not following you,” Maggie admitted. “Is there any more coffee?”

  Anne waved at the coffee pot. Maggie went to refill her cup while her sister continued to talk. “I’m serious about this, Maggie. Dad left. So maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I expected men to leave and I married a man who’d live up to my expectations. Or down to them. Whatever. The point is, maybe I subconsciously made the choices I made so I could prove myself right. And that way I wouldn’t have to challenge my assumptions about men, or find one who would stay.”

  Maggie nearly sloshed hot coffee on her hand. She righted the coffee pot in time and set it back down with careful precision.

  If Anne was right, what did that mean? That she’d fallen for an impossible man who would never stay on purpose, so she wouldn’t have to change her expectations of men and relationships? Or worse, that she’d fallen for a man who had staying power and left him first because she didn’t trust him to stay?

  “I’m not saying it’s my fault Brad left me while I was in the hospital having his baby,” Anne said. “That was his choice and I’m not taking the blame for it. But I have to accept responsibility for my part in this mess. Look at Joey.”

  Maggie turned around and looked at her nephew, snuggled into his mother’s arms. “I’m looking. He’s adorable.”

  “He’s innocent,” Anne stated. “That’s partly what got me thinking. That, and something about being totally responsible for another human life. It’s a paradigm shift.”

  “Innocent,” Maggie echoed.

  “Right.” Anne touched Joey’s tiny hand, curled around one of her fingers. “He’s not genetically programmed by his chromosomes to abandon any woman who loves and trusts him. He bonded to me in about two seconds. He knows when I’m holding him. Even when he’s asleep, he’s disturbed any time I put him down. He wants to be with me. That’s human nature in a nutshell. We want to be with other people. We want to bond. We fear abandonment.”

  “The opposite of love and leave,” Maggie said slowly. “We instinctively want to love and stay.”

  Oh. Hell. She’d left Adam, and she’d never done or said anything to make him think she wanted to stay. Or that she wanted him to stay with her. She’d finally given in to wanting him, but only when she knew she was leaving. And even then she’d lied to herself, told herself it was only physical, because if it was more, she might have to take a risk.

  Maybe Adam didn’t love her. Maybe he didn’t want her to stay. But she’d never know if she didn’t ask. Was she willing to spend the rest of her life without him because she was too dumb or too blind to examine her beliefs about men or adjust her expectations? Was she going to lose him because she expected to lose him, so she couldn’t imagine any other possible outcome?

  No.

  “What if I didn’t go back to Chicago?” Maggie asked. “What if I stayed here with you and Joey?”

  Anne gave her a long look. “Why do I think there’s another name you’re not mentioning?”

  “There is.” Maggie blew out a breath. “The thing is, Adam might not want me. Not permanently, anyway. But I’d still want to be here. I missed you while I was gone. I’d miss Joey. And I don’t want to go back to Chicago to miss both of you just because it seems easier than staying here and missing him if he leaves.”

  “That almost makes sense.” Anne screwed up her face in a frown.

  “He might not be the staying kind,” Maggie said bluntly. “Then again, maybe he is. I don’t know. I want to find out. No matter what happens, I’d rather find out than leave and wonder what might have been. And if it turns out I can’t have him, why should I rob myself of the love I have right here?”

  “Aw.” Anne gave her a melting look. “You love me. You love me and the little guy who screams you awake at two in the morning.”

  “Don’t ask me how much I love him at two a.m.,” Maggie admitted, her lips twitching up at the corners. “But yes, I love you. I love both of you, and it’s dumb to go be by myself because my subconscious mind thinks that everybody leaves.”

  “So stay.” Anne settled back and gave her a nod. “There’s plenty of room. Not that it matters, since you’re moving in with Adam. But stay anyway. You’ll always have a place to come for dinner and I’ll always have somebody to babysit when I need to get out of the house for an hour. What about your job?”

  “I’ll see what I can work out. A magazine’s not like a newspaper. I wouldn’t have to be local. I might be able to telecommute. Or find something here.”

  Renton had a lot of advantages. It was within commuting distance to multiple employers. The biggest advantage this town had to offer, though, worked in a garage and might not want to see her without an appointment.

  “Adam left a card for a free service on your car,” Maggie said. “Maybe I should take it down to the garage for you. Save you the hassle.”

  Anne grinned at her. “How very thoughtful of you.”

  When Maggie arrived at the garage, Pete gave her a sidelong look and then kicked the boots that stuck out from underneath a car. “There’s a customer you need to consult with.”

  “You take care of it.”

  “She needs your expertise. I’ll take over here for you.”

  Adam rolled out and caught sight of her. “I see.” He levered himself off the creeper and stood.

  “I want to talk to you,” Maggie said.

  “So talk.”

  He wasn’t going to make this easy. She gathered her determination. “Alone.”

  He waved a hand towards the stairs. Maggie took that as a yes and went up them, tension riding her shoulders until she heard his boots on the steps behind her.

  She waited until they were in his apartment. He closed the door. She turned back to face him. “Why’d you quit racing?”

  Adam’s face was impassive, unreadable. “I told you. I woke up one day and realized it was going to get me killed if I didn’t get out.”

  Maggie shook her head. “If you had any sense of self-preservation, you never would have raced in the first place. If safety was your main concern, you wouldn’t have gone into the Army when you needed money for a car that would get you to the next level in stock car racing and attract the sponsorship you needed to get into Nascar.”

  He said nothing.

  “Your plan worked.” Maggie came closer, until she could run a hand across his chest, feeling daring and dangerous. It was a powerful, heady feeling. One Adam knew all about. “You got out, got your car, got your sponsor. Won the Daytona 500. And then you did something unexpected. You quit. Your Army buddy was out and he’d used his stake to open a garage. You bought into the business with him.”

  “That’s not exactly news, Maggie,” Adam pointed out. He folded his arms against his chest and leaned back against the door, a study of boredom. “I’m a gearhead who likes to get his hands dirty. End of story.”

  “I don’t think so.” She stepped closer, until she had to tip her head back to look into his face. “I think you realized you could keep winning and you wanted a bigger thrill than you could get driving in circles on a tr
ack. You wanted to play for higher stakes. And when somebody asked you to do it, you said yes.”

  She tilted her head, studying him. “There are two things you could do with your driving skills that would give you a rush and serve a higher cause at the same time. Your military experience gave you the security clearance for either; witness relocation or courier. I’m guessing courier, because some of the guys who go into witness protection make deals and they’re the kind of men you’d be tempted to push out of a speeding car in the middle of a freeway during rush hour.”

  A muscle jumped in his jaw. “You’re not thinking like a reporter. You’re inventing a story to make me more interesting than I am because you don’t want to admit you like fucking a blue-collar man with no ambition to do anything beyond running a garage and making engines purr. That or you’re so desperate for a story you have to make one up when you can’t find one. Maybe some of both.”

  “Really?” Maggie took another step that brought her body up against his. Her lips grazed his jawline. “Where’d you go yesterday, Adam? I saw you behind the wheel of a car I didn’t recognize, but it was you.”

  “I went to DC,” he said in a hard, flat voice. “I fucked a blonde there.”

  He was lying. She was certain of it. “Is that right?” Maggie put her hands on his shoulders and touched her tongue to the corner of his mouth. She felt his body react to the contact with a heady rush of sexual power. “Where? Her apartment, or a hotel? Did she fake it, or did she take a real ride on your love roller-coaster? Were her breasts bigger than mine? Did they bounce when you did her? Did you do it missionary, doggie style, or something kinkier?” She fired the questions at him one after another.

  “A hotel,” Adam said a beat later. “She didn’t fake it, her breasts were bigger than yours, and they bounced very nicely while I did her from behind. I got to watch it in the mirror facing the bed.”

  “What’s the name of the hotel? What room number? Did she shave, or did you get proof she was a natural blonde? What color was the bedspread?”

  Adam abruptly grabbed her arms and spun her, putting her back to the door. His hands closed around her wrists and he pinned them to either side of her. “I didn’t pay attention to the hotel. She rented the room. She shaved her pussy and she wasn’t wearing any underwear.”

  “You’re lying.” Maggie held his eyes and refused to look away or let up. “You’d never let a stranger rent a room for you. You’re too big on control and too conscious of safety. If you just wanted sex, you could’ve had it without going to DC. You had six months to do as many women as you wanted while I was gone, but you didn’t. I’m the only one you want.”

  “I only want you for as long as it takes to get you out of my system,” Adam shot back.

  “I can’t get you out of my system.” Maggie ran her tongue over her lower lip and saw his eyes fix on the movement with the utter concentration of a predator watching its prey. “How many more times do you think it’ll take before it works for you? Once? Ten times? A thousand?”

  “Once more. For the road.” He let go of her and unzipped his pants.

  “I don’t think it works that way.” Maggie put her hands on his and stepped into him. She reached up to brush her lips against the corner of his mouth. “But I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll stay for as long as you want me.”

  She felt him freeze as if he’d turned to stone. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Try me.” Maggie helped him work his pants down his hips, then reached up to undo the buttons of his shirt. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I’m never going to stop wanting you.”

  “Maggie.” He tore out of his shirt and then stripped her with mindless speed, buttons popping, cloth tearing. He put his hands on the flesh he’d bared and let out a growl of sexual hunger that sent shivers of anticipation down her spine. “Get in the bedroom, or I’m going to fuck you right here on the floor.”

  “Is there a problem with here?” His touch made hot blood roar in her ears and the bedroom seemed too far away.

  “Condoms are in there.”

  “Oh. Dammit.” She balled up a fist and hit the door in frustration, then turned and raced for the bedroom. Adam was right on her heels. He picked her up and tossed her onto the bed before she reached it, then pounced and rolled her underneath him. His legs pushed between hers, urging them apart.

  “Tell me again,” he muttered in a thick voice between hot kisses. “Tell me you want me.”

  “I want you.” Maggie arched up under him, luxuriating in the feel of his naked body against hers, the weight of him pressing her into the mattress, the hard length of his erection nudging between her legs. The contact of his bare cock to her sex made her tremble. A shift in angle, and he’d be inside her. She was already soft and slick for him. His thick shaft would press home without the slightest resistance.

  “You make me crazy.” His lips burned a line up her cheek to her temple.

  “That’s mutual.” She kissed the curve of his throat and his shoulder, touching him everywhere she could reach.

  “It’s not going to last.” There was a warning in his tone she was past heeding.

  “That’s what you think.” Maggie wiggled closer to the bedside table and fumbled for a foil packet. “Get this on and get inside me.”

  He rubbed his forehead against hers, then levered himself up. His eyes met hers, dark with sexual intent. “Have it your way. If you don’t come first, I’ll take care of you after.”

  “I’m not worried.” She watched his hands roll the latex on, gripping himself at the base as if offering himself to her. He stole her breath. “I love you, Adam.” The words spilled out as if summoned by the magic of the moment. She wanted him with a force she couldn’t deny and it gripped her with a sudden urgency to tell him how she felt.

  “You lust after me.”

  Maggie shook her head. “I love you. Lust wouldn’t leave me still tied in knots six months later. Lust wouldn’t make me miss the sound of your voice, or make me stop and stare at a man in a crowd because something in the way he moved reminded me of you. Lust wouldn’t make me turn to tell you something and then leave me feeling gut-punched because I’d forgotten you weren’t there.”

  “You want a story.”

  She sat forward and licked one of his nipples. “I have a story already. I’m not going to publish it, though.”

  “Why not?” He watched her intently, face unreadable.

  “I don’t think it’s in the best interests of national security.” Maggie ran her hands down his abdomen, feeling the muscles tighten as she touched him. His cock jerked as if demanding attention, so she cupped his balls and caressed them gently. “You’ll have to give me another story. The one you want made public as your cover.”

  “I can’t confirm or deny your conclusions,” Adam said. “What if you’re wrong?”

  “I’m not wrong.” Maggie feathered her lips along the line of hair just below his naval that arrowed down towards his groin, then back up until she could rake her teeth along his pectoral muscle. “I know the facts. I know you. They can’t add up any other way.”

  “You’re willing to take that chance?”

  “I’m willing to risk everything on it.” She dropped back and opened her arms and legs in invitation. “I’ll ride the redline with you, Adam.”

  His body covered hers almost before she finished speaking. His mouth claimed hers as he raised his hips and then drove inside her. She wrapped herself around him and held on.

  An hour later, Adam toweled his hair dry, then sat on the edge of the bed and studied the sleeping woman in his bed as some nameless emotion clawed at his chest. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to watch her like this. He’d had just enough time to get used to her sleeping beside him before she’d left. It had made the loss more deeply felt.

  Would she stay this time?

  He reached out to run his fingers through the tangle of curls that rested on his pillow. She made a sleepy sound of
pleasure and angled her head into his caress. A smile spread over her face. Her eyes stayed closed. “Adam.”

  “Maggie.” Her name left his lips on a whisper. He bent to kiss her, his lips brushing hers as lightly as a butterfly. His hand reached for hers, found it. He threaded their fingers together and felt her grip him in return. “Stay with me.”

  Her lashes fluttered. Her lids rose halfway. “I’ll stay. As long as you want me.”

  “I’ll never stop wanting you.” The admission wrenched itself from him.

  “Okay.” She yawned.

  “That’s all you have to say? Just okay?”

  Maggie shrugged one bare shoulder. The movement dislodged the sheet, exposing her pink-tipped breast. “We might need a better bed. This one’s going to break if we keep stress-testing it.”

  Adam peeled the sheet back all the way and settled himself behind her. He pulled her into the curve of his body, feeling completed by the way she fit in his arms. Her absence had left him bereft. Maybe two really did become one. Maybe it was something more than poetry. Adam was willing to believe it. She’d become a part of him. “I love you, Maggie.”

  She turned in his arms, snuggling close, her cheek pressed to his shoulder, one thigh hooked over his as she hugged him hard. “I like the way you say that.”

  “Yeah?” He hugged her back. “I want to hear you say it again.”

  “I love you.”

  Adam buried his face in her soft curls. “If you ever leave me again, don’t do it with a goddamned note. Tell me to my face. Say goodbye.”

  “I can’t.” Her voice was muffled against his skin.

  Adam drew back, frowning at her. “What do you mean, you can’t? Dammit, Maggie, I love you, but I’m not going to spend my life worrying that some day I’ll wake up and find you gone.”

  She reached up to cup his face with one hand. “I mean I can’t say goodbye to you. I tried. I could never say the words. They wouldn’t come, because I didn’t want to go.”

  Her meaning sank in slowly, lighting dark corners of his mind and heart as it did. “Then stay. Stay for good.”